We all have one; or lack of one I suppose.
My earliest memory of believing in God was when I was five and on my way walking to kindergarten. My shoelace broke and my immediate reaction was to blame God. Now looking back I believe He did break it, in order for me to acknowledge what I had never done, to look up.
I was raised Catholic and when a nun couldn’t tell me she was sure if she was going to heaven, I was like, if she isn’t sure, a holy nun, what hope was there for me?
I left the Catholic Faith when I was 16 and became a proclaimed atheist. It was the most miserable time of my life. I was lost, on drugs and living on the streets of New York, panhandling and making punk friends. Our only mission was the next high.
It ended abruptly when reality set in after a fire that was arson on our squat took the life of a good friend, Carrie, a 14 yr old runaway from New Jersey. I was defeated and came home back to my parents who put me in rehab and was released to a twelve step program.
I was taught to follow rules so when I got to the second step about finding a power greater than yourself, I chose the ocean. Within a few days I was like, some entity created the awesome ocean. And my belief in God has never wavered since.
I got saved at a Calvary Chapel and still believe in the saving power of Jesus to this day. They told me to read my bible, so I did and became Catholic again after 6 years.
I embraced Catholicism for twenty years until a little over a month ago I couldn’t follow their teachings anymore so now I am on my own spiritual journey.
Christ is still at the center of my belief system but expanding to more unified sort of churches. And studying alchemy.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!