I am naive at times but I like it that way because without this naivety I would have no hope for a better world…
Conflict, disillusionment and greed are all parts of my life and I fight to stay above water to not drown in my disgust of mankind of which I am a part of.
Letting go of shame has been huge. But I still fail, still have flawed thoughts and still make mistakes.
God carries through these difficulties and I am ever so grateful are not words enough. But when I am in the middle of an external or internal crisis I forget about God, who gives me my breath of life, whether it is peaceful or full of angst.
I dream of a world where equality not only exists but of a world where it is welcomed by all.
I refuse to brag about my efforts to make this true; but often I realize later how far I missed my mark in my efforts for altruism, which is unachievable when one thinks of it.
But we can’t let that stop our purpose to bring about needed change in this world. Education is key along with honesty and freedom of speech.
Spiritual alignment goes hand in hand with our deeds.
Yesterday, my dad brought up a difficult memory of which I am still processing. I have my regrets but my love shown forth after this incident when I was 16 is just one example of ignorance and I was on drugs. I don’t want to blame drugs alone for my rebellion but it was a major factor.
I rejected God and all that was good and due to the grace of God I found my way back to Him who made all that is good. I wonder now of my missteps…
I feel pretty set in my ways; but yet I am easily influenced by well pretty much everything.
I was a staunch catholic for 20 years, the last 3 trying to break away, although once I knew that God was calling me to leave the church, I took a spiritual retreat from everything to listen for His quiet voice to lead me and away was certain.
At times I feel lost without the safety of religion; but at the same time I feel free to soar in the ocean of spirituality that is so vast in many dimensions of this world and out of this world.
Things are certainly beyond my control but this force that I call the limitless term God is what keeps me going, I used to think it was my dad but now understand it is God. God. God.
My life is good, but yet it is full of difficulties. I have schizophrneia/schizoaffective disorder and have been psychotic many years ago. I will share more about this in another blog but the messages I received from Him during this time were albeit confusing but have come to pass many of them.
I am not a prophet but I know things somehow and often I feel the Holy Spirit speak through me because I know I didn’t come up with something that profound.
I am on an exploration mission. And I pray for an equal world. Unification at its finest. This is my intention I have decided for 2020. Nothing in politics or religion can solve this; no only the Source of all that is good can bring this about.
It’s about breaking down walls that start with me.
Peace, love and joy