What is life?

Each day we each wake up with the same 24 hours- to do or not to do many things. What did you accomplish today that you are proud of?

Life is interesting for sure. We can be spectators or we can be a part of things; it is our choice. But what is the essence of life?

Alive, free to stumble or soar…

vida in spanish. la vida

Very important the life we have each and every one of us on this planet and beyond…

Life is precious because the Source of all life wishes it so.

Each day we each wake up with the same 24 hours- to do or not to do many things. What did you accomplish today that you are proud of?

I am proud of my day and am ending it on a good note.

Quiet meditation, relaxing music, candles, prayers, positive thoughts surround me tonight.

I am at peace.

I am no longer strangled by the limits of religion.

I am set free to soar and I feel like I am flying.

I’m not even high.

I appreciate life so much because I have not always wanted to live; in fact I was suicidal when a teen and even recently due to a mental health disorder and addiction issues mixed with marital stress, job stress, money stress. And now it has all gone away.

We think or at least I do, that one phase of my life will last forever, but it never does. It is good right now and I’ll take this breather from dramas that often afflict me. all is well, everything is sound.

Don’t know if this blog is of interest to anybody else but it is cathartic to me to write and share all I find on the way, but that would be way too many blogs to write every way I see and feel God. We relax in the heart of God, because it is safe there, even when the rest of the world is at odds.

So life for me is everything and I hope I live a long time because I have much to do but the day He calls me home I will be happy too~ to finally meet this wonderful Creator of heaven and earth…

Peace, love and joy,

Write anytime


p.s. I hugged a tree today, a really big tree! Lives embracing…

show must go on~

I must go on forgiving myself. Stop pleasing the world. Stop apologizing. Stop now.

i haven’t been my usual giving self lately

I believe in God but am still shamed into believing that I am not good enough on many levels. I must let this go. now, now now

I don’t know the alchemical process this involves. I am doing all I can to be complete, physical, mental and spiritual.

I can’t let go that I am not the worse sinner to ever live.

I could list a litany of infractions, dishonesty being at the top.

I am a people pleaser and when I think of it try to be a God pleaser. But it gets tiring.

Today was one of those days. Tried to pump up some enthusiasm for my adult daughter’s tic toc video of us making goat’s milk soap, lavender with petals for relaxation and scrubbing, and also cinnamon coffee oatmeal kind as well.

It is a very relaxing process and the result yields many months of good smelling soap.

This is my physical alchemy for the day.

Mental- took a long walk with a friend at the park, good for the body and brain.

Spiritual, day of resting from unnecessary chores, talking with my friend on the walk about the divinity of Christ. I believe Christ is God so by definition I am Christian. But I refuse to consider myself a Protestant because I have so much admiration for the Catholic Faith and am not protesting it.

I am not above it but rather outside of it.

I am not new age.

I study alchemy.

The show must go on because this fisad we call life, is nothing but a grand performance that we are all puppets in. Pretty awesome puppets though.

I fought with God today and let Him win. It was better for me in a major decision. And I have more time for my studies which include Thoreau, Mortimer Adler and alchemy primers.

It will take me years to get through my studies. I read one page and I ponder it and then I ponder it some more and look ahead to the chapters discussing it further. And then I ponder it some more. Deep thoughts, light thoughts and everything in between.

I learned that emotions stem from the spiritual self and that thoughts emerge from the mental self. I find this quite interesting to say the least and more pondering tonight as I apply it to my current state which is shame for a few unkind but true words I said today to my adult daughter.

I must go on forgiving myself. Stop pleasing the world. Stop apologizing. Stop now.

So I leave you with as much peace, love and joy as I can muster

Our paths are different~

My path is my own as is yours.

We all have something to offer this world.

I like to put it out here on my blogs…

I remember my earliest experience with believing in God. I had been taught about Him, but it wasn’t real to me until one day on my way to kindergarten, my shoelace broke. I was in a hurry and it was such a big deal. I blamed God for the poor timing and then felt bad. I was around 5.

Didn’t think too much about Him except to rebel and become an atheist at the age of 17. I convinced others in my desolate time. Can’t help it. I got an A in persuasion in my speech class in college. How I loved to give speeches while I would take a bath and practice and practice.

But I don’t want this blog, which is coming to birth slowly, to persuade anybody of anything. I just want to share my experience with getting to know God, the Source of all that is good; this spiritual journey that I am on I am so excited to share. I don’t know where I will end up but through my sharing of my path, I will get somewhere and I am at peace with that.

I have studied many religions in my life and any religion that is convinced theirs is the only way just doesn’t resonate with my soul at this stage in my life.

I do believe in Christ, so got that base covered. How terrible that sentence sounds rereading it. But I am not going to change a word. God knows and I need say nothing more.

We have some sort of deal; I ask for guidance and then let the cards unfold. Some days I don’t know what to do next and when I remember that is when I ask the Holy Spirit to guide me to things that matter.

What a waste is chatter but I guess it serves a purpose somewhere.

Now I have nothing left to say tonight. Had a very busy day at home and going to relax and watch a rom com with my daughter. Going to take a break and enjoy myself thinking of nothing spiritual until later.


Physical, mental and spiritual connections-

Starting to remember my life applying these 3 stages and having fun!

5 – age when I played with red ants and didn’t get bitten then became afraid when people warned me. They were my friends. Physical aspect of this age.

Mental at this age was the anguish I went through over a little girl who threatened to sue me over taking her swing. I was so scared and intimidated!

Spiritual aspect, this was the age I was when I blamed God for breaking my shoelace. First recognition of the Divine.

I am doing this with every important moment of my life.

Peace love and joy to all

Alchemy visited~

I am not called to great things, yet I aspire much, not for material things but inner peace that cannot be moved….

currently in the blackening stage, the breaking down of my salts which are beliefs I have held my whole life that I am now ready to let go of. Making a list of things I want to change about myself and been working so much on myself these past years that the only thing that I could come up with is my negative self talk.

I am what I am and my beliefs are personal and we all know what we know yet may learn from one another about different things. I am not the worst sinner to live as I once thought. Sure I miss the mark at times, but hold my head high believing in the saving Grace of God.

I am not special, yet I am unique

I am not called to great things, yet I aspire much, not for material things but inner peace that cannot be moved….

It’s a simple life I choose today.

peace, love and joy on this path, led by the light that will never go out…

thank you for joining me for a bit.

Who is God?

There is no way to know the answer to this question. I know He (a limiting term) exists for many reasons. I know He loves me and wants the best for me and for all. I believe Our God (another limiting term) is beyond our knowledge and that our minds would explode if we realized the full nature or entity that God is while in our mortal bodies.

These are my thoughts tonight on my rest day~

God is good, has a perfect sense of humor and listens to our prayers, answering them in His time not ours.

I try to trust the process and do my best each day to do what I believe what God wants of me. And that is enough, it is more than enough. He gave us brains and with these intricate brains we can begin to fathom the greatness of a loving all knowing all powerful Creator of this world and universe.

It is scientifically unable to prove though. So I understand skeptics as I used to be one. But it was just a brief few years of my life and He called me to Him and I answered the call.

I try to live as if God did exist and think often about what is pleasing to Him. Doing good for others is the best thing. And that starts with our families and then and only then can we try to help others. I used to put church and my religious practices above my duties. no more~

they come first and then i can help beyond my home

I was at a friend’s house helping her out and had just shared with her that I was on the verge of a spiritual breakthrough. I went to use the bathroom and discovered the toilet seat needed fixing. I don’t fix things, can barely change a light bulb. But I managed to fix the toilet.

I came back to my friend and simply stated that my prophecy had come true. This is a true anticlimactic story for some but for me it was a spiritual awakening to be able to fix her toilet. I can do little things for God. I can do big things for God. I can do all things for God. I simply imprint upon the universe and the Source of all that is good my intentions and tonight I imprint to be more of a handywoman.

these are my thoughts tonight.

Blessings to all

peace love and joy

Mood scan~


physical- (worked out 30 minutes and walked 2 miles), feel good tired not fatigued after my evening workout and walk.

mental- I’m good, exercise helps that and supplements

spiritual- a little lost right now. So much for freedom from religion. saying set prayers ritually is a mindless activity, but for someone like me, provides a routine which I miss. Might make up some prayers for every day of the week and that way they will be new and fresh. I can do this right now. Still intrigued by alchemy but today read a derogatory comment that upset me about God. I prayed for this person. It used to be me after all.

Watched a beautiful short video that helped me to avoid judging others. We really don’t know what other’s have been through so should never judge.

More on this on a later blog.

Blessings be to you all in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Source, The Almighty, God, Nature and this humble servant of God. Guess I’m not really humble…ha ha. We shall never know for sure, it’s that circle of life humility is.

peace love and joy

My spiritual journey…

Talking about her spiritual journey along the way…

We all have one; or lack of one I suppose.

My earliest memory of believing in God was when I was five and on my way walking to kindergarten. My shoelace broke and my immediate reaction was to blame God. Now looking back I believe He did break it, in order for me to acknowledge what I had never done, to look up.

I was raised Catholic and when a nun couldn’t tell me she was sure if she was going to heaven, I was like, if she isn’t sure, a holy nun, what hope was there for me?

I left the Catholic Faith when I was 16 and became a proclaimed atheist. It was the most miserable time of my life. I was lost, on drugs and living on the streets of New York, panhandling and making punk friends. Our only mission was the next high.

It ended abruptly when reality set in after a fire that was arson on our squat took the life of a good friend, Carrie, a 14 yr old runaway from New Jersey. I was defeated and came home back to my parents who put me in rehab and was released to a twelve step program.

I was taught to follow rules so when I got to the second step about finding a power greater than yourself, I chose the ocean. Within a few days I was like, some entity created the awesome ocean. And my belief in God has never wavered since.

I got saved at a Calvary Chapel and still believe in the saving power of Jesus to this day. They told me to read my bible, so I did and became Catholic again after 6 years.

I embraced Catholicism for twenty years until a little over a month ago I couldn’t follow their teachings anymore so now I am on my own spiritual journey.

Christ is still at the center of my belief system but expanding to more unified sort of churches. And studying alchemy.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

God bless,


Breaking down the salts…

How can we break down the salts in our life? How can we know what to call God? this blog explores these topics on one bloggers spiritual journey away from shame

Morro Bay, California

In my alchemist studies, I am learning about breaking down the salts. Just as it is a natural process for rock to break down into sand over many many years, so it is that in my life I have come to realize that there are many salts in my life I want to break down. And there is no rushing it…

For example, my lavender tincture is breaking down material to become something I can use. Right now it just looks like a clump of something energetic.

One of the things I did with this tincture is put a tiny piece of paper in of something that I want to release. I chose shame… I already feel a shift away from guilt over my missing the mark in big and small ways.

I am a child of God, nothing more in terms of spiritual states. My son thinks using the word God is limiting and I agree. But to me it also means so much. Just as the picture above of one of my favorite places on earth is of a massive rock, I think of the power of God as limitless, all knowing, all present.

I am not always in the spiritual world though. But frequent it quite often. I have come to realize that death is just a separation of our physical state but that after we die, we begin to become what we were meant to be at long last for some, others it is briefer.

I look forward to being with God one day. I tend to prefer the word Source of all that is good. But for now I will use my limiting term according to my son and call the Source God. Easier and works for me…

Redefining my days, starting today. More writing, meditating, gardening and studying Alchemy.

Breaking down the salt of shame is the first step to love myself more the way God intends. And in loving myself more, I know I must take care of myself, my family, my friends, my gardens, my life!

Still looking up to Him who created such a wonderful world.

So lastly, in this blog I would like to think about how the ocean has negative ions yet brings so much positivity. Negative energy will do this. I am not sure how but am interested in what others think about this.

I am an empath and there has been much negative energy around me lately. Getting the house fixed up and lots of workers with different history’s. It is causing me to really work hard to find balance between physical, mental and spiritual.

Peace, love and joy to all of you!


New beginnings…

When one is fifty, one decides to reconsider ones’ many aspects of life…

I just left the Catholic faith.  I am in recovery mode but God is good and I want to blog about my journey.

I believe there is good in all religions but it just isn’t for me anymore.

I am on a sort of alchemical journey, embracing physical, mental and spiritual well being.

Join me on this journey.  share what you may in the comments.

Sometimes I feel lost, but then ask for guidance from Him who make heaven and earth.  and it comes, always.  it isn’t always what I want to hear or do.  But it is sure.  Gentle nudging at times and other times it is sort of a heavy gust of wind leading me.

I see God everywhere.  In nature, in people, in animals.  I thank him for all He has given me.  I am very blessed indeed.

I have my struggles though and even though at times it is very hard, it makes it sweeter when the hard times end and there is always light sent forth.

Lots of downtime lately.

Just be I am hearing tonight.

No music, just the hum of the fridge…

and the dog’s gentle breathing near my side.

As I prepare to close my sabbath, I find myself at peace with the universe and the Source of all that is good and Divine.

Coming soon, my alchemical studies as they progress.

Did my first experiment of sorts, a lavender tincture that takes 6 weeks to dissolve into a tincture.  This will save me money as I use lavender every night on my pillow.  Harvesting it at the next full moon.

I am grateful for many blessings this day.

Peace to all of us!  Let us embrace our differences, learning from one another along the way.  I have so much yet to learn…