One in one through one…

I believe in one God, the creator of us all, and upon us his gaze is ever and constant. He knows before I, yet lets me make my own choices as fucked up as they many as ever as the stars.

I choose good and not to harm others just saying…

I might harm myself, not on purpose but through vices that pop up daily and occassionally.

But I look up to Him who made Heaven and Earth and me and you for love, inspiration and devotion. I wont give up ever!

Im leaning back to the Catholic Faith once again. Although I will never say for sure that this is the right religion the rituals enthrall me at a very spiritual level especially in Spanish. I attended a funeral the other day and it was beautiful yet so sad but their devotion to Christ and His love was perfect and unending like his love…

In Jesus

The healing power of crystals~

Tonight, I cleansed and activated a quartz formation crystal and used it to clear some negative thought patterns. Amazing results so far.

I discovered crystals a month ago. I have been around them my whole life but didn’t realize their healing powers or recognize their energy to draw from.

I am amazed and as I usually do I am really digging in and getting to know more about them. I took a class last night by Nicholas Pearson and bought his book Crystal Basics available on Amazon. It is a great value for such important and timely information.

Tonight, I cleansed and activated a quartz formation crystal and used it to clear some negative thought patterns. Amazing results so far.

Allow me to explain. For as long as the sun rises since my birth really, I have held onto mistakes or missteps that are negative. I play these scripts through my head every day and there is a lot of them. One involved me giving directions wrongly to a woman 20 years ago. I did still feel bad but have now released it and don’t remember why this bothered me so much.

I am asking for crystals for my birthday. I am 50 and feel like this has been a huge year for me in so many ways. I have again left my childhood faith and embarked on a alchemical and now crystal journey and also discovered this year that I am an empath with mainly people but also animals and all of mother nature.

Thinking about it Al-chemically here is the breakdown of my 50 years of being alive. Wait not ready for that, let’s say that looking at my first year being 50.

Physical- have lost 35 pounds in a year, have some physical limitations, started a strength training workout at home program which kicks my butt and lots of walking and yoga…

Mental- I have a serious mental health disorder, which is under control with medicine and supplements. I have done therapy which I have not found particularly helpful except for my grief therapist for anticipatory grief with my dad. The thought of him dying leaves me numb still but have processed a lot and no longer suffer as much.

Spiritual- left the Catholic church to the shock of many. Began my alchemy studies, embracing the Source of all that is good and discovered crystals for their healing powers.

A good year but many changes. Didn’t mention the pandemic but it has affected me greatly as well but too much to write about.

peace love and joy,


Checking my status live~

I still have a moral guide which encompasses kindness, compassion, sympathy, empathy, honesty (this one is still hard for me tho), love and forgiveness.

Cuz its all about me! Just kidding!

But feeling the need to do a alchemic scan right now…

Lots going on internally, not so much externally except that it is really hot and kind of drained…

Physical- hot, lethargic, not much activity today due to the heat, vices prominent but no abuse anymore, finally going to get some help for an old injury of my hip. Wish me well please.

Mental- solid, some grief for my parents dying one day maybe soon, have apt. with anticipatory grief therapist for check in but altogether feeling pretty good about my needs mentally.

Spiritual- wishing well on others instead of karma, feeling connected to the Source of all that is good. Rest day today and taking full advantage of a day of not doing very much. Feeling peace in my heart and soul and happy to be alive. No deep meditation today but it is what it is.

I set my intention this month for positive energy only and it’s working. I find myself much more at peace and full of joy and love for all.

The people who have hurt me verdantly or inadvertently need healing so I’m gonna pray hard for those who enjoy it being their job to make others miserable as they are. I find humor in this as it no longer affects me as much.

I started wearing a black tourmaline pendant and ever since clearing it with rock salt water for 24 hours been feeling like it really protects me from all the negativity in the world and my life. Ahh, the power of crystals I am finding very interesting.

Did my harvesting of lavender tincture last night… it’s more subtle smell than I like but others will enjoy it. Going to make the next batch with vodka and let it sit longer. This is my first alchemical experiment! Exciting.

God is love; I am love too.

God is holy; I am holy too.

God is humble; I am humbled by my many missteps

I think this mantra, “I am good, I am holy, I am humbled”. when I am feeling less than due to my time as a catholic and the learned shame for so much, I find myself repeating this mantra. I still have a moral guide which encompasses kindness, compassion, sympathy, empathy, honesty (this one is still hard for me tho), love and forgiveness.

I still hold onto a lot of negative experiences and am looking for ways to release these thoughts from my being. My mentor suggested that I inventory them. Sounds good?

Noooooo, to write down all my mistakes? Maybe need a new mentor as I don’t find that helpful to put it in pen or computer.

Anybody have any suggestions?

peace, love and joy


The meaning of life…

I dream of the day when I can enter the spiritual world easier. It’s always there though. As I live and breathe, God is closer than my every breath. He is in me; He is in all of us…

Life has many meanings but for me the meaning of life is connecting with God, the Source of all that is good.

This can be done in multiple ways I have discovered.

It can occur in the quiet of my evenings, or any time of the day. It is a deep sigh of gladness and quiet reflection on the Giver of life.

On the properties of God which I can’t begin to understand or explain.

Unending, unfathomable, unmoving, omnipotent, omnipresent. And who am I but a mere mortal trying to relay a tiny bit of the appreciation I have for God and the life He has given us all.

Here I set my intention for the month of September- positive energy, no complaining, only good vibes this month and every month because that is what I choose for my life. Negativity will be avoided and as situations arise, I will look to God for solutions that are practical and trustworthy.

Reaching God isn’t always easy to do but for me it is like a muscle that grows each time I touch in with Him. Sometimes it takes effort that I don’t always have, sometimes it is through a kind deed on my part or the offering from someone else, perhaps a story that reflects the love of God or nature finds. Also in my animals God has chosen to continue to breathe life.

So much to ponder!

I dream of the day when I can enter the spiritual world easier. It’s always there though. As I live and breathe, God is closer than my every breath. He is in me; He is in all of us…

I consider the perfect position of our planet. Any closer to the sun and we’d all be fried chicken, any further we’d be frozen entrees. Perfection in creation, even if it seems like it is all falling apart.

There is a plan I believe, not that we were made by accident but by design. Any architect attests to the importance of a plan at every stage. I consider my garden and my blooming Echinacea purpurea. Slow, gentle unfolding of a beautiful flower. It’s taking all week to bloom, still green but opening all the same. Strong healthy leaves to support the many blooms upcoming.

I dream that I can reach God somehow, not a ladder but an entry point where I think of nothing else, but so many distractions to getting lost in God- my phone, the dishes, the endless paperwork etc… but trying to turn every moment of my day into a spiritual experience would be difficult for even the most advanced spiritual practioner.

And it would be tiring.

Quite often when I am on the higher plane, God causes me to crash back down. I remember being in heaven (figuratively) in Italy in 2015 at a pilgrimage at San Giovanni Rotondo, the home place of the in corrupt body of Padre Pio. I was soaring in the spiritual realm, being near his body in prayer for hours. Will share full experience in another blog as it deserves it. But after, when I was floating away it felt, a taxi cab driver ripped us off and I was scared because I didn’t know if we would ever get back to our apartment. Things like this happen all the time.

Anyone have any suggestions for how to come back to the earth we abide in without such shock?

peace love and joy


Who is God?

There is no way to know the answer to this question. I know He (a limiting term) exists for many reasons. I know He loves me and wants the best for me and for all. I believe Our God (another limiting term) is beyond our knowledge and that our minds would explode if we realized the full nature or entity that God is while in our mortal bodies.

These are my thoughts tonight on my rest day~

God is good, has a perfect sense of humor and listens to our prayers, answering them in His time not ours.

I try to trust the process and do my best each day to do what I believe what God wants of me. And that is enough, it is more than enough. He gave us brains and with these intricate brains we can begin to fathom the greatness of a loving all knowing all powerful Creator of this world and universe.

It is scientifically unable to prove though. So I understand skeptics as I used to be one. But it was just a brief few years of my life and He called me to Him and I answered the call.

I try to live as if God did exist and think often about what is pleasing to Him. Doing good for others is the best thing. And that starts with our families and then and only then can we try to help others. I used to put church and my religious practices above my duties. no more~

they come first and then i can help beyond my home

I was at a friend’s house helping her out and had just shared with her that I was on the verge of a spiritual breakthrough. I went to use the bathroom and discovered the toilet seat needed fixing. I don’t fix things, can barely change a light bulb. But I managed to fix the toilet.

I came back to my friend and simply stated that my prophecy had come true. This is a true anticlimactic story for some but for me it was a spiritual awakening to be able to fix her toilet. I can do little things for God. I can do big things for God. I can do all things for God. I simply imprint upon the universe and the Source of all that is good my intentions and tonight I imprint to be more of a handywoman.

these are my thoughts tonight.

Blessings to all

peace love and joy

Breaking down the salts…

How can we break down the salts in our life? How can we know what to call God? this blog explores these topics on one bloggers spiritual journey away from shame

Morro Bay, California

In my alchemist studies, I am learning about breaking down the salts. Just as it is a natural process for rock to break down into sand over many many years, so it is that in my life I have come to realize that there are many salts in my life I want to break down. And there is no rushing it…

For example, my lavender tincture is breaking down material to become something I can use. Right now it just looks like a clump of something energetic.

One of the things I did with this tincture is put a tiny piece of paper in of something that I want to release. I chose shame… I already feel a shift away from guilt over my missing the mark in big and small ways.

I am a child of God, nothing more in terms of spiritual states. My son thinks using the word God is limiting and I agree. But to me it also means so much. Just as the picture above of one of my favorite places on earth is of a massive rock, I think of the power of God as limitless, all knowing, all present.

I am not always in the spiritual world though. But frequent it quite often. I have come to realize that death is just a separation of our physical state but that after we die, we begin to become what we were meant to be at long last for some, others it is briefer.

I look forward to being with God one day. I tend to prefer the word Source of all that is good. But for now I will use my limiting term according to my son and call the Source God. Easier and works for me…

Redefining my days, starting today. More writing, meditating, gardening and studying Alchemy.

Breaking down the salt of shame is the first step to love myself more the way God intends. And in loving myself more, I know I must take care of myself, my family, my friends, my gardens, my life!

Still looking up to Him who created such a wonderful world.

So lastly, in this blog I would like to think about how the ocean has negative ions yet brings so much positivity. Negative energy will do this. I am not sure how but am interested in what others think about this.

I am an empath and there has been much negative energy around me lately. Getting the house fixed up and lots of workers with different history’s. It is causing me to really work hard to find balance between physical, mental and spiritual.

Peace, love and joy to all of you!


New beginnings…

When one is fifty, one decides to reconsider ones’ many aspects of life…

I just left the Catholic faith.  I am in recovery mode but God is good and I want to blog about my journey.

I believe there is good in all religions but it just isn’t for me anymore.

I am on a sort of alchemical journey, embracing physical, mental and spiritual well being.

Join me on this journey.  share what you may in the comments.

Sometimes I feel lost, but then ask for guidance from Him who make heaven and earth.  and it comes, always.  it isn’t always what I want to hear or do.  But it is sure.  Gentle nudging at times and other times it is sort of a heavy gust of wind leading me.

I see God everywhere.  In nature, in people, in animals.  I thank him for all He has given me.  I am very blessed indeed.

I have my struggles though and even though at times it is very hard, it makes it sweeter when the hard times end and there is always light sent forth.

Lots of downtime lately.

Just be I am hearing tonight.

No music, just the hum of the fridge…

and the dog’s gentle breathing near my side.

As I prepare to close my sabbath, I find myself at peace with the universe and the Source of all that is good and Divine.

Coming soon, my alchemical studies as they progress.

Did my first experiment of sorts, a lavender tincture that takes 6 weeks to dissolve into a tincture.  This will save me money as I use lavender every night on my pillow.  Harvesting it at the next full moon.

I am grateful for many blessings this day.

Peace to all of us!  Let us embrace our differences, learning from one another along the way.  I have so much yet to learn…